A Day Off?

OK, here is an update on my Multiple Myeloma condition post-CAR T cell procedure which took place some 26 months ago near the end of 2023. It is hard to believe that it has been 26 months since the procedure. Time flies.

I am thankful/ grateful to be able to write that my blood numbers have been holding steady. My monoclonal peak number registers as “not applicable” which means that it is not measurable. However, monoclonal proteins might be present just not at a pivotal level where immediate action is necessary.

My ANC number is holding steady (I underwent a stem cell infusion last August as a means of trying to bump up that number which had been holding in the low 200 - 400 range). The IGg number is also holding somewhat steady at the low end of normal. No infusions or shots are necessary at this moment. Again, so very grateful.

In total, we are moving forward cautiously. I am pleased to find myself in my current situation. I am always aware that nothing is guaranteed and that the next blood draw (now scheduled for April) will let us know how I am trending. It is understood that “systems” change and that today’s condition is temporary. The uncertainty of “tomorrow” is an ever-present component of my daily, conscious thoughts.

Being a cancer carrier puts into practice the understanding that “the next day” is not to be taken for granted. This reality helps simplify life. A more immediate or shorter-term perspective is used as a baseline for making decisions. A new mindset (focused more on today and what it may bring) has been adopted. The manifestation of the saying “planning for the future” has been altered. An acceptance of the temporary nature of life and all that it brings has become the new cornerstone for the foundation of my life and for determining a hierarchy of importance regarding what moving forward will look like.

It has been noticed that the tangible effect of this altering or change in perspective can and often does lead to uncomfortable predicaments and confusion. Conflicting ideas as to what is important or what is being said or what is meant to be said or what is desired NOW versus before the cancer diagnosis are encountered daily. It is not difficult then to realize that unintended misunderstands and disagreements spring into existence.

As an example, take the phrase “I get to take a day off.” 

Prior to being diagnosed, this statement usually meant that I got to go out and play. Relax and enjoy. I was taking a break from my job. Activities such as playing some golf or hiking were planned and very much anticipated. Sometimes it meant taking time to complete tasks around the house. Sometimes it meant that I had an opportunity to spend a day involved with a totally self-centered activity. Pleasant.

After diagnosis and all of the subsequent days/years that have been granted me since, the phrase “I get to take a day off” harkens to a reality where that statement means something along the lines of realizing that I do not have to experience any type of chemo or have to undergo some sort of treatment necessary in the managing of MM.  It means I will not have to sit in a hospital or clinic for the better part of the day. It means that maybe I can go outside for a bit and take in some fresh air. It is a BIG deal not to have to get chemo treatments. On many occasions and in many situations, getting a “day off” can most certainly be described as nothing short of “glorious” and of major significance. What a relief.

See the difference. Yikes.

The statement “I get to take a day off” was never intended to be complicated or unclear or misunderstood such that it could cause significant and possibly major consternation and uncertainty. Yet it happens because life is different now.

All of this indicates that while the cancer patient/cancer carrier’s reality may be residing on the same planet as the reality of those who are not in a cancer-centric world, it most likely resides on the opposite side of the planet, living in a different time zone or dimension that is far, far away.

Crazy. But certainly, worth remembering or at least acknowledging. It is also suspected that this conundrum is not just limited to the “cancer” world.

And so ….  forward we go.

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Song of the Month

Under The Boardwalk By The Drifters

A way oldie but goodie and released in 1964 this certainly is a song that reflects a simple time when you could escape for whatever reason by going under the boardwalk.

The Drifters, oh boy, their sound was so smooth and so elegant. Man could they sing. Such a pleasure to listen to even after 60 some years.