25 and …

To all who peruse this post, I extend to you the thought of the accomplished folk artist Burl Ives who once sang “have a holly, jolly, Christmas, it’s the best time of the year.”  OK, well maybe its not the best time of the year but it certainly can bring about much good cheer.

Well, Hallelujah! I made it to two years post CAR T procedure. Back in December 2023 (the exact date of receiving my reconfigured T cells was 12/26/23 – day after Christmas) the future and what was to come could only manifest as tumultuous thoughts. I had been through four previous treatment protocols and now we were to embark on the fifth one – a Car T Cell procedure. A tumor (subsequently radiated out) developed near my right clavicle and the oncologist felt that we needed to proceed forward with the CAR T procedure. As I have previously written, the prognosis was for hopefully 12 to 18 months of reduced treatment. Eventually that was bumped up to 18 to 24 months.

And now I look forward to beginning my 25^th month post Car T.

I must be honest here and say that I get tears in my eyes as I type that out on the computer.

In a very real way, Christmas of 2023, the Christmas of undergoing a CAR T procedure, has turned out to be one of the best I have ever experienced. Yes, I suspect even better than the time when I got an electric racing car set some 60 years ago.

When my wife and I were recovering in the hotel that was our “home” for about forty days during the treatment there were two over-riding thoughts that both of us had during the protocol.

The first was how lucky we were.

During our stay in Denver for treatment, friends and family surrounded us with love, kindness, and thoughtfulness. A whole bunch of people from our hometown of Laramie sent us small gifts and good tidings. On Christmas day, our sons decided to bring Christmas dinner to the room. They were in charge. And so, at about 2 pm there was a knock on the door, and they walked in carrying a HUGE spiral cut ham and a HUGE pot of mac and cheese. Of course, anyone who has ever gone through a significant chemo infusion (as is the case prior to the new T cells being introduced into your system) can attest, there is a distinct lack of appetite for much of anything after such an infusion. None the less, how can anyone refuse such a generous offering. We “feasted” on ham and mac and cheese. Just the best.

The second thought, or maybe better to say “mind set” was that we really did not have too many expectations as to what was going to come next. Having been through previous protocols, the successes, and setbacks, we were aware that nothing regarding the future is/was guaranteed when trying to live with MM. And thus, we sort of made a decision to just TRY and take whatever each day would bring. We were hopeful for treatment effectiveness and a break from chemo. Yet, it was necessary for us to approach what was to come open minded knowing that there are no guarantees in place.  It is a fine line to walk.

Now, today, I sit typing on the computer totally uncertain as to where any of this – this life of trying to live with MM, of knowing that it is all a gift, of knowing that nothing is guaranteed and that tomorrow is but a pipe dream of sorts, this experience of life, well who knows.  I certainly do not.

However, and you knew there had to be a however- however, boy am I grateful and glad and overwhelmed with this idea that so many people have been so good to me. And it occurs to me that so many people have been giving me Christmas gifts all year long and not just towards the end of December. Man are people simply great.

So, as the 25^th month post CAR T begins, I accept living with the uncertainty of what comes next. I suspect that if I were supposed to know what is to come next, I would. But I do not. So, I choose to move forward. Uncertain – yes. Somewhat scared that maybe 25 months will be it- yes. Gald to have made it this far. Looking forward to today and if lucky – seeing a tomorrow.

Also, this Christmas, I believe that my wife and I are going to fix a ham (spiral cut) and make a pot of mac and cheese, and we will sit down and enjoy dinner with our sons.

Oh boy, just the best. And this time I will be hungry.

All the best to you for the Holidays.

Songs of the Month

OK, it is the Holiday’s and so two songs this month!

Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives

Given the intro to this month’s post, the first selection is obvious. Burl Ives and Holly Jolly Christmas. It is difficult if not virtually impossible to find a more soothing voice than Burl Ives. His version of this tune is an all-time classic.

Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee

The second song is by Brenda Lee and it’s her enormous seasonal hit Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree; you probably are already aware of this but if not, one of the most amazing items about this recording is that it was done when she was about 14 years old.  Holy Cow. What a voice, what a talent.

Enjoy!