Who Knew

Mark Pajak

7 hours ago

3 min read

Hello again. After a month without a post, I am back with some early Thanksgiving thoughts for November. So, let us get right to it.

Just received the latest numbers/results from my blood draw last week and it appears as if I am holding steady. Not much changed in the numbers. No monoclonal peak in evidence. It was such a welcomed report because this was the first time in about twelve years that I waited three months between blood draws.

It has been almost three years from the CAR T Cell procedure. When we were going through that protocol back in December 2023, the initial thought was that we would be happy if I could achieve between 12 to 18 months of relief from treatment. Then the thought was that we might be able to get 18 to 24 months of relief and finally it looked like 24 to 36 months would be possible. Well, 36 months is right around corner.

Of course, the “what comes next?” question occupies a portion of my thoughts each and every day. Yes, there is the realization and/or understanding that there is no definitive answer as to what lays ahead. Keep moving forward and be grateful when my feet hit the floor each morning.

It is hard to put into words the gratitude that fills me when I look back at what has transpired and the results that have been achieved. I am so grateful. And along with being grateful, I am, for the most part, accepting of that which is.

Living with MM has required a certain amount of caution and sound judgement regarding the challenges that are taken on or decisions that are made. Factors or side effects such as a reduced immune system, greater or more persistent fatigue, a reduction of muscle strength (although that may be due to being 12 years old than when diagnosed) all become a part of a new norm that is lived with and accepted.

There has been so much life since my MM diagnosis almost twelve years ago. There have been some hard times and suffering and many good times and laughter. Much has been learned and much has been forgotten. Life keeps happening.

I would like to share with you something that happened to me this past month that for some unknown reason really made an impact and, in some way, provides some measure of what living life even with MM can provide. Truth be written, I am not sure what that impact was/is/will be as time moves forward but it has occurred.

One morning this past month I was fooling around on the internet when I ran across a video of Tom Jones and Luciano Pavarotti singing “Delilah.” When you are retired, you can at times fool around and watch videos whenever you want. It is really nice to have time to enjoy “having time.”

Anyway, to say that I was “moved” is an understatement. Two tremendous talents, singing a song, each respectful of the other, each exhibiting a sense of joy and love. Incredible.

Yes, the music and the singing and the entire event was incredible, but what I still cannot understand or what bothers me is that all of this had happened without any prior awareness. And even more troubling in some unknown or unexplainable way was my unawareness of the greatness that was Luciano Pavarotti.

What has followed since is a daily dose of Pavarotti singing something. I really do not care what he is singing. I do not understand Italian and most of what he sings is in Italian. It does not matter. Watch one of his videos or listen to his voice and you will instantly understand what I am trying to convey.

Of course, the above-described situation and realization leads me to ask the question, “What other greatnesses are yet to be discovered?”

My next step is to go out and purchase a Pavorotti album (yes, I still listen to albums). Not sure what I will find but there is little doubt that it will satisfy my desire for such beauty.

Life is available to all of us. MM does not mean that life ends or that experiences stop or that something new or enjoyable ceases to be available.

In a way it is embarrassing that it has taken me seventy plus years to experience Pavarotti sing Nessun Dorma. And did all of this happen because I live with MM.

Well really, who cares!

There should be no doubt in your minds as to what song of the month appears next.